"I've never seen my sister this happy, Ian. [face suddenly turns serious] If you hurt her, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident." - My Big Fat Greek Wedding
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx
"1. Social Life
2. Good Grades
3. Adequate Sleep
(pick 2 and welcome to college)
"I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday."
"What if everyone else is weird and I'm the one that's normal."
"Good morning... I see the assassins have failed."
"Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade's gonna suck."
"It's okay Pluto, I'm not a planet either."
"Satan sucks; tell everyone."
"So my friend texted me saying "What does 'idk' mean?" So I said, 'I don't know' and she said, 'Oh my gosh, no one knows!'."
"Procrastinators: The leaders of tomorrow!"
"Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people."
"I'm not dead yet!" - Monty Python
"Peasant: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant: Well, I got better!"
- Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
"Whoever said that nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door."
"I can't help it if I'm really, really ridiculously good looking." - Zoolander
"Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elder berries!" - Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." - George Carlin
"Musicals: Because who doesn't want to live in a world where everyone randomly breaks out into song and dance?"
