"On the scale of 1 to crazy, I'm a penguin."

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce

"Some mornings it's justs not worth chewing through the leather straps." - Emo Philips

"A causal stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because I farted."

“One out of every 4 Americans is mentally ill. So, if 3 of your friends are okay, then you’re in trouble.”

“Here’s to the crazy one, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently – they’re not fond of rules… you can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Apple Inc., Steve Jobs

"I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested." - Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

"I smile because you've all finally driven me insane."

"I stopped fighting my inner demons, we're on the same side now." - Darynda Jones

"The voices in my head sound like you."

"We all like to think that there's somebody weirder than we are. You guys are thinking "Well at least I'm not as weird as Gaffigan!" And I'm thinking "At least I'm not as weird as the people in the loony bin." And the people in the loony bin are thinking "Well, at least I'm an orange!"" -Jim Gaffigan